Sarah, Hopefully

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

No se ve...

I don't really have anything to say, but in the meager hopes of inspiring someone else to update their diary/blog/whatever, I guess I'll write.

This week has been pretty typical. Work, hanging out with Murl, teaching little kids Spanish. There's not much else. I've been watching lots of ER off of my DVD's... aaaah I love it. I want to get season 2, but I doubt I'll find it as cheap as I found season 1. And Julia will kill me if I buy more ER before I get Season 2 of Gilmore Girls. Buuuuuut it's so expeeeeeensive! *whines* Yeah, I know, I'm earning a paycheck, I shouldn't complain.

I finally got some nice little bedside tables for my room, but no new bedspread or curtains yet. Oh well. There's no immense rush, I guess. Julia seemed a little freaked out by the total change when she was home a couple of weekends ago, but I'm getting used to having a bed that's a normal distance off the floor and walls that aren't covered in crap. I like it. It's not perfect yet, and maybe it'll all be worthless if my parents wind up moving in a year or two, but... oh well.

So... my parents figured out that they can actually pay for my entire first year of college, which is awesome. They always figured they could, but now they actually know where all the money is going to be coming from. I know I'm still going to be in debt when I graduate, but hopefully it won't be too terrible... my dad's boss seems really happy with the work my dad is doing, and has made some jokes about my dad having two daughters in college and needing some bonuses... hehe. I won't count any chickens before they hatch, though.

The other good thing is that I know how I'm going to buy a computer for me to take to college. We bought this computer a year ago as "my" computer to take to college, but since then it's become the family computer, and all of my parents' files and stuff are on it... so either they'd have to get a new one or I would, and it makes more sense for me to get a new one. Anyway... they said that I can have all the money we're getting back from tuition/housing deposits at different schools as my parents' contribution, and then I can pay for anything on top of that out of my savings from working. It's really awesome-- a better deal than I had hoped for. So I should be looking at purchasing a new compy in about May or June. Woo woo.

This week has been kind of a downer, to be honest... Murl is having all sorts of problems with enrollment and KU, again, or still, whichever... but that's his story to tell, not mine. Anyway, that causes some stress and anxiety, which is no fun. I've also been feeling kind of under the weather... I still have this cough that I've had since the beginning of the year. I had it, then I got a cold on top of it and it was really bad, then I got over the cold and the cough got some better... but in the last week or so it's been getting worse again. I'm really tired of it. 2 1/2 months of being sick is no fun. I've also been really tired-- just lethargic, I guess. Not very inspired to do anything. I have trouble sleeping soundly... and I'm really easily irritated, too. Like... there's this part of my mind that looks at me objectively and sees how I'm reacting to things, and that part of me KNOWS that I'm being irrational and there's really no reason to be so irritated and upset, but I'm helpless to stop it. I hate that feeling... I've had it before, and I can never figure out where it comes from.

I feel really overwhelmed with memories lately. Mostly memories of my time in Mexico, but also some from when I was going to FCC. Sometimes I wish I could see people again, talk to them, feel for certain how things have changed... I don't know if that'll ever happen, though. Some people I don't even know how to contact, if I wanted to. I know in a lot of ways it's just wishful thinking... wanting things in the past to be different, or wanting to go back and re-live what was good. That's impossible, and yet... I have these anxiety filled dreams where I am trying to reach those things that are just beyond my grasp, lost in a maze of memory.

3 Comments:

  • Yay for a new computer! That's exciting. You will have to use it to keep me updated from JBU.
    William

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:29 PM  

  • Yay for a new computer! That's exciting. You will have to use it to keep me updated from JBU.
    William

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:29 PM  

  • I posted that twice. Ha.
    William

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:29 PM  

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